The Saddest Blog on Earth

Take a Joke!

2009-08-08T01:50:00.004-05:00

BULLSHIT!

Don't you even know what Punk'd is??

anywho, back to the ol' blog! ;D))

I had an ice cream sandwich today. The end.

PSYCH mothacluckaaa

brb gotta go smoke a bag of meth

...

ok back!

Not much has changed.

Recent Googles...

2008-11-21T20:18:00.003-06:00

"I'm lost and weird without you here"
"the dreams that fade but never cease"
3 divided by 5
air horn mp3
bloody mary
buy waxed linen in chicago
cafe too chicago
cheeseburger costume halloween
chocolate snow cap cokies
chocolate snow cap cookies
count of monte cristo trailer
creative writing saic
embroidery floss
embroidery index stitch
filmmaker didn't go indoors
flex grip
game tickets golden sun
gba emulator mac
gba rom mac
german expressionist woodcut
ghagra choli how to wear
hamburger costume halloween
homeless documentaries
how many cigarettes in a carton
how to capture video on mac
iggy pop
jokes
massachusetts decriminalize marijuana
master of fine arts
mfa
mpeg
non sum qualis eram
one of us one of us gooble gobble gooble gobble
office episodes season 5
phil solomon university of chicago
presidential returns 2008
puyo pop
sigara
sispoombah
snake
sonotheque chicago
the blow
this is it is this it it is
three divided by five
translate fire to japanese
vic theatre
virginia voter turn out
whimsical
who could win a rabbit
woodcut
yarn art
yatana japanese translation

never know

2008-11-18T20:52:00.002-06:00

what 2 say in critique--dun wanna sound like a fuckwit, kno whut i'm sayin.

Don't know jackshit bout composition or ne contemporary artists.

Been doubtin masel, dunno if I'm cut out for art. Got accepted here, that must count for somethin..

Plus all the kids here are really stylish and good-lookin. What's a ugly wide-o like yors truly to do?? TT_________TT

Yippee Skippee!

2008-11-05T14:14:00.003-06:00

Obama Obama Obama Obamaaaa!!

U.S.A. mothacluckahz!!!

Death of a Hamburger

2008-11-01T22:24:00.002-05:00

Seems like dese days tha only good ideas is bad ones.

Feel awful
glad I saw my fren
dunno what the fuck i'm doing
want to come home

sorry guys

2008-10-14T20:02:00.001-05:00

I didn't mean to get you all worried or anything. I guess it's just been on my mind for so long that it's not shocking anymore.

It's All You Can Say

2008-10-14T18:37:00.004-05:00

I'm lonely,
I'm lonely.
I'm lonely!

Maybe the more I say it the less true it will be.

Giving Up

2008-10-08T20:56:00.003-05:00

large body and a hairy face
she's got two left feet and big brown cow eyes
There's something to be said for a girl with no future.
Something like "What a waste."

Aw jeez.

there's tears

2008-10-08T20:45:00.002-05:00

rollin down fat cheeks of their own accord,
fuckin, streams of salt and water
pourin down a porous and fleshy landscape.

I dunno where I went wrong.

I was a good kid, I had a life ahead of me.
I laughed a lot and I was cute and smart.

Now all that I have to look forward to is the eventual fall into drug abuse and death from ambiguously accidental overdose.

boo hoo hoo

2008-10-08T20:12:00.003-05:00

TT______________TT

done wit dis bullllllshit
parents tryna buy me one of them fuckin, S.A.D. lamps know what I mean
like that gunna help a sad saad motherfucker like yors truly
i mean look at the gurl!

I had some stuff to say but I deleted it cuz you'd just think worse of me, Marium.

POst #100

2008-10-08T20:10:00.002-05:00

Everyone here is very good-looking and stylish.

My sister texts more than she talks to me.

I feel left out.

I mean, it's one thing to do what you want to do but I don't know about doing it all alone.

a boring day

2008-10-01T18:29:00.004-05:00

i told the lady i wanted the fried chicken meal and after some idling in the aisles i went home and ate it by myself in the kitchen. then I called home and talked to all 8 members of my household. it was nice.

my mom told me to buy myself a sweet because i fasted this month, but my heart wasn't in it [the fasting].

I bought some ice cream anyhow. it is ben & jerry's.

i miss my family.

I'm glad i don't live far away.

i don't have any friends here, either, so that's not helping the problem of being lonely.

at the very least, i haven't thought about suicide for the past few months.

Tiggys

2008-10-01T10:48:00.003-05:00

Dear Diary,

Yesterday I purchased a pack of Camel Turkish Royals from a CVS because they were out of Camel Lights. They are really fuckin fancy and pretty "smooth." The filter is a light peachish color, and the white part of the cigarette says Turkish Royal on it in sparkly blue. Also, the foily stuff was gold! 24 KARAT GOLD!! Heehee hoohoo. All in all, the most expensive $7.21 I ever spent.

Then while me and some kids was standin outside smokin by the NO SMOKING sign and receivin dirty looks from SAIC employees, I made some trades! Now I have a Kamel Red, one of those camels in the magenta box, and a Marlboro ultra light.

Wonderful.

Love,
Malimi

EID MUBARAK

2008-10-01T10:20:00.003-05:00

I wanna thank my vast and appreciative audience for their continued support of my fuck-witted blog: THANK!

in other news, today is da holy day of Eid-ul-Fitr. Usually my family wakes up and takes an ass-long time getting dressed, so that when we get to the masjid everyone is waiting for us...-_______- Then we do the Eid prayer and go to someone's house for lunch or something. Sometimes we go to Sam's Club. It's usually cold around Eid, but since the lunar year is eleven days shorter than a Gregorian calendar year, the start of Ramadan (and so the day Eid falls on) occurs eleven days earlier ech year.

Now that you know all that, let's stawt the tomfoolery, shall we!

Bye, Old Friend

2008-05-06T22:39:00.005-05:00

We had some really great times.
But I mean
We also had some fuckin horrible times.

You win some you lose some, I guess.

I'll miss you.

Note to Self

2008-05-01T23:47:00.007-05:00

Don't worry, things will work out.

whut

2008-05-01T20:07:00.001-05:00

asdfjkl;

Duhpreshun

2008-05-01T01:07:00.009-05:00

I'm sick, man.

Things has gone from bad to worse and worse and worse.

It's got to the point I can't hold a fuckin conversation
can't be by myself for two minutes
can't I can't

I mean, you don't think anything of it until it's you shivering taking walks to fuck-knows-where looking at your goddamn feet.

And one of the signs of the last times will be that a man will pass by a graveyard and think "Would that I were in his place."

Now I'm not tryna be funny or nuffink Miss but I was in the cemetery today and and and and and

the end is near.

Cold Cold April

2008-05-01T00:45:00.005-05:00

Me leavin for good I don't want to remember I spent so much time
spent so much time feeling blue nobody
ain't nobody to talk to

I read a sad story
I heard a sad song

I don't think things are going well at all.

You are never here all's I wanted was to say hi

but when I see you in the hallway I am nervous,
afraid you will find out what I been thinking
what I have been turning over and over
and over again in my head.

Pro's and Con's Pro's and Con's and Pro's and Con's

I'm worried for my own sake

Good, Good News

2008-04-28T03:57:00.005-05:00

Cigarette Smoking--up 500% [all figures are in comparison to last month's numbers*]

Feeling Sorry for Baby Marium--down 18%

Energy Drinks Imbibed--down 70%

Listening to Elliott Smith--up 250%

TV Watching--up 5%

Elevator-Taking--down 29%

Bags of Popcorn Eaten--up 900%

Understanding Percentages--down 100%

Candy Eaten--up 300%

Finding Writing Utensils on the Ground--down 90%

Napping--down 30%

Being Fuckin Ridiculous--up TEN THOUSAND PERCENT

It's been a good month, guys.

*which are meticulously recorded in my brainz dun worry

Here's an Idea:

2008-04-25T14:20:00.004-05:00

You're up early trying to have a bit of a post-breakfast smoke around 8 am when THIS guy comes up to you on his tiny bicycle and a gargantuan helmet he drops his water bottle and you's confused you don't know what the fuck this kid is goin on about cuz he leans forward and starts to fall and things isn't syncin up like I see you comin out from indoors in them polka dots and I don't know what you're sayin or why you are lying down on the grass.

Then you and he take me somewhere on a walk and I'm whisperin

WHO IS THIS GUY?? Pointing over there cuz I thot I saw you and I'm askin i'm whining where is heeee wheeere is heee I musta sent THis boy a thousand or more TEXT MESSAGES askin where are you and THESE kids is lookin at me like I'm doin something really fuckin ridiculous (which maybe I am) and I'm parched as fuck I can't breathe there's no saliva in my goddamn mouth and I can't breathe and they want me to drink the pondwater!

These kids wants me to kneel by the shimmering depths of this fuckin scummy ass reservoir of cigarette butts and quench my THOIST. Also there was a horrible horrible taste in my fuckin mouth like a sand castle was bein built/// there//// ain't no sand this side of the Sahara she says winkinG!

What awhaaaat I'm gonna miss you d00d! Those d's ain't matchin up. One of em's got a thicka stem dan the otha and I had anotha strange dream I musta had a bajillion dreams and you were in all of em.

Mostly

2008-04-10T16:03:00.001-05:00

I just post on my last.fm now. I don't know why, it's not really for blogs. I might come back to this some day.

In other news, I'm dropping out of U of I to pursue my art dreamz.

Good Ideas

2008-02-22T00:21:00.004-06:00

Energy drink consumption

You probably need this for all the kewl activities you will be carrying out in the wee hours of the night, including but not limited to:

Drawing with permanent marker in a small room

Phew! Check out dose fumes.

Listening to Elliott Smith for hours

Always an excellent choice. This will almost always lead to:

Agonizing over mistakes and the direction in which your life is headed

Fun activity, sure to provide hours of distraction at any time!

Sleeping during the day when you should be in class

This is great as it builds on the previous bullet point. Once you have worried enough (you will know, your eyes won't cry anymore and the world will have lost its color ;D) it is time to move onto:

Blogging about it

Yes. Because everyone wants to know about yo latest breakthroughs child!

you may have other names for this list, such as Bad Ideas or No Don't Do This.

Scary Story

2008-02-03T22:25:00.000-06:00

OK well I was talking to my friends about this nutso book called House of Leaves and I looked it up on Wikipedia and started clickin around and I found this scary site on the Winchester haunted house the one with like seventeen chimneys and stairs leading nowhere and I remembered this

FUCKING SCAWY

story that this girl told me once at dinner.

Don't die. I almost did just remembering it:

So I was having a decent dinner chocolate milk, probably some steamed vegetables, you know, the works, when the talk turns to haunted shit. I was like ohh jesus fuck this I'm leaving. But this girl was like oh man I have a true story to tell and I was like shiiit I gotsa GO! But I couldn't resist!

The story went like this:

Once upon a time a few years ago, this girl had been at a sleepover at her friend's house and

oh fuck i'm getting really scared just typing this aaaah like what if I see something materialize behind me through the reflection in the window or I feel a hand grasp my ankle or the closet door starts to creep open oh jesus what if someone knocks on the door and oh fuck I'm so scared and when I get scared I try not to look around or move

oh jesuuus

she was at her friend's house and there was this part of the house that was boarded-up, like a room had just been boarded up with nails and boards, so no one went there. But in the middle of the night they heard a loud bang and

oh man

they went and saw the door had fallen off its hinges and they went in even though they were really freaked out and they

oh jesus h fuckin aaaaah

saw an unmade bed and all these get well cards on a little side table and

this is the worst part

on the wall there were all these biblical images of wolves eating lambs.

FUUUCK I'M THE LAMB I'M THE LAMB AAH FUUUUUCK FUCK FUUUUCK I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AAAAAH

that's all that i remember of the story i dun remember the aftermath or anythin because I started to like, almost cry my eyes were tearing up and I was getting really nervous that everyone would become monsters so I left and I took the elevator back to the fourth floor and everything seemed so close

so close to me and the hallway seemed unbearably narrow and no one was there aaand unfortunately I got this Iron and Wine poster in my room that came with my CD and it looks like this

aaaaah dat's some freaky shit I don't know what the fuck I was thinking putting it up on my wall oh jesus oh jeez it's still there look at them eyes glazed over with madness oh man i'm gonna die tonight

oh no don't do what I did oh no this is scary

But after dinner I reeeally had to go to the bathroom, like epic piss. Oh man I was so scared and the bathroom seemed like the perfect place to be ambushed and killed so I went down the stairs quickly and left the dorm and walked a few blocks to another dorm and used the bathroom there and talked to this girl who lives in the same town as I do and she was laughing at me but I was glad I could talk to someone who would tell me to stop being cwazy.

I stayed there for a while and walked around outside for a while and by nightfall I was thinking clearly and walked back to my room ONLY TO FIND GET WELL CARDS SCATTERED EVERYWHERE WRITTEn in CHILDISH HANDWRITING WITH MONSTERS ON THEM AND PICTURES OF wOLVES DeVOURING SHEEP ON THE WAlLS AAAAAAAH BLOOD AAAAAAH

But seriously.

When I heard this story I was whining like aaaah why you gotsa be like that i'm getting scaaared do you want to scare me what's wrong with you and the worst thing was that this girl kept insisting it was true and she is not the type to want to make me cry, I don't think.

Ray Charles

2008-01-23T23:28:00.000-06:00

I have so many songs by Ray Charles, and I don't even know why. I was going to delete them all because I never listen to them, but I decided to give them a shot.

They have really good names. Like, if you are ever bummed and awake waiting for something that will never happen playing scrabble by yourself, you will definitely want to listen to like "Cry," "Feelin' Sad," "Nobody Cares," "Baby Let Me Hold Your Hand," "A Fool For You," "Come Back Baby," "DROWN IN MY OWN TEARS," and "Night Time is the Right Time."

:( I guess that's why it's called the blues

What was that poem, that Auden poem. Let's read it:

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Fuck.

Wish I were Here:

2008-01-20T02:49:00.000-06:00

I downloaded the Film Guide for this year and looked at all of the synops(e?)s of the films, and picked out which ones I wanted to watch.

I'm really cool.

Also today I traded a bunch of items and got a small gnome, a bracelet, a yellow plastic dinosaur, a one liter measuring cup, The POisonwood Bible, a small clay snail, and Twister in exchange for a pack of Mentos, playing cards, a headlamp without batteries, a Rubik's cube, a twirly-whirly flower fan, and a packet of Energy Beans.

I'm the best ^______~

I have been listening to these four songs by Paul Baribeau over and ova and ova again. I dunno waht I want.

Fuck

2008-01-18T16:54:00.000-06:00

I was just on Craigslist looking at the strictly platonic section. D: I hate everything and I am so hungryy.

Drawing

2008-01-16T01:04:00.000-06:00

I made this today click on it it looks much betta close up but it's only kind of from observation because i moved some stuff around and didn't make the surroundings oh well ;D

Stuff

2008-01-12T14:55:00.000-06:00

Here is what my siblings and I spend our $$$ on:

Wootata: makeup
M!mS: clothes
Sispoom: candy and cigs
HK: toys

and yo don't get me wrong dudes, I love items. They are real fun. But it's just stuff you got for the time being, you know. It's gonna go away someday. And yesterday when I was visiting our new house that is building, I was thinking about this. Cos some of our neighbors are really into show-offy things like fancy cars and big houses. And I remember a couple of years ago when my parents bought this sports car I was like yo why you gotsa be like dat Pops then my mom said look gurl people are only gonna care about your rich shit for a few seconds. Don't buy stuff to make other people jealous because srsly. no one cares. Get it cuz you love the way that Boxster looks and you just gotta have it!

So that is pretty much my philosophy on earthly possessions.

Regardless, here is a list of stuff I am always looking to purchase:

candy

colorful shoes

video games

DVD's

cute small stuffed animals like Mushabelly or Boohbah

hats

ice cream

purses/handbags

notepads

if you got any o those lyin around, send it on ova1!

I EYE I EXAM

2008-01-10T21:26:00.000-06:00

L O L E Y E
E X A M S
A R E
T H E
WORST

Today I had an eye exam and we have some weird insurance so we can only go to Sears. WTF Sears is so dumb. I had to fill out a long ass (read: one page) information booklet and it asked me all these personal questions like are you on any prescription or "OVER THE COUNTER" drugs do you have glaucoma or cataracts I was like umm nunya! Hehehe.

NEWAYZ GURL!

I have been coughing like a fuckin consumptive commoner lately, and I'm really embarrassed about it because I think it is from smoking but that would be dumb because I don't even smoke that much. Honest!

So I went back into dat scawy dark room and the scary eye examiner doctor optometrist bespectacled man (hm should I describe him some more) was gettin alllll up in my grill I was like YO BACK UP OUT MY PORCH YOU ALL IN FRONT OF MY GATE SON! He paid me no heed though, and continued to measure my eyeball circumference and shit like dat. 'Specially dat fuckin eyeball puff machine!! AAAAAAH I WAS SO SCARED IT WAS GUNNA BE A DART OR A SMALL DAGGER INSTEAD OF THE STARTLING BUT HARMLESS PUFF OF AIR THAT USUALLY COMES THROUGH DEM MACHINES.

K that's enough caps, I think!

So when he was carryin out his little writing on dat damn eyeball examination paperz I was coughing like FUCKIN NUTS!! I couldn't control itttt and you know when you know when you tryna hold back your coughing so people don't think you are diseased? And then it comes out in a sort of sudden explosion? Yes exactly that happened. He was like BATTEN DE HATCHES SUM1 GOT STABBED IN THE AUNT NELL, WOT?

Just kidding.

Then he handed me a tissue and my eyes were fuckin leaking TEARS EVERYWHURR he was like ey yo gurl! Slide 1 or 2 and I couldn't really tell because my eyes kept watering so I kinda lied because I think by that time he thought I couldn't read. Whoops.

So if you see someone staggering around near Allen Hall hands in front of my body trying to make sure I don't step into traffic wearing bright and hoborific attire, it's me.

I don't know

2008-01-10T01:08:00.001-06:00

I don't know I don't know where you at!

Just wanna see yo dumb ass smother you with smooches bestow me kisses on your hairy face.

What? You know who you are!

WUT

2008-01-09T18:26:00.001-06:00

I read the rest of The Golden Compass and The Subtle Knife today. They were really good !!^____^!!

I also had a lot of weird dreams last night. Somethin about a huge warehouse and lava bubbling and people were in cages experiments and you were dressed like an equestrian. Go figure.

Referrals

2008-01-08T19:13:00.001-06:00

Rofl my Xanga comes up with weird Google search entries. For example, "non sum qualis eram," "the liver is the cock's comb," and "selbstmordgedanke." Go figure. Btw, these were actual searches I found in my history because I am almost as obsessed with sitemeter as I am with blogs.

Dun read no more

2008-01-08T18:58:00.000-06:00

words jump on the page, letters scrambling and trailing off the page so I have to set down the book to follow the d's, the y's and i's, the n's and g's under tables and into cracks in the sidewalk. I can't go any farther, and I sit down to rest.

Dun write or draw, I

Haven't touched a pencil in ages except to write down messages I won't pass along.

I'm so tired my mom thinks I'm on drugs maybe I been sleepwalking down to the square to buy crack in the middle of the night. Who knows, who knows?

One Missed Call

2008-01-05T17:04:00.001-06:00

Shit.

Last night I was dragged into watching this atrocious "thriller." The only thing I was thrilled about was bein a chubster and putting cookie dough bites in my popcorn. But I didn't want to look like a fatty, so I abstained, and ended up spending the better part of an hour and forty-five minutes wishing I had gone to see No Country for Old Men (I say the better part, because that trailer for the movie with Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson really sparked my interest -- PSYCH!!).

Alright alright, I guess as far as scary movies go, this one was pretty run-of-the-mill. I suppose all the main components were there: fear of our dependence on technology, some stupid psychological condition that almost applied to the movie (in this case -- post-traumatic stress disorder suffered by child abuse victims), and an attractive main character whose friends are droppin like flies!

The highlight of this movie was definitely ~*~*~SPOILER AHEAD~*~*~* when a deformed baby was sitting in the crib ringing someone up on his phone as Beth [main character] was dragged into a room by giant sicknasty millipedes in a burnt-down hospital as she was clawing to keep from being killed by a rotting corpse of the mother who it turned out did not have Munchausen by proxy but was actually trying to explain to the goil that her psycho hoodlum daughter was trying to kill her and feed her red candies

WHAAAAAAAAT?

yeah, that was pretty much my response. I didn't get scared cuz I'm tough, and cuz the only scary thing was the scary faces. Like a statue of a nun coming to life and having a countenance resemblin that of an angry gargoyle. Kind of like in THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE, but these scary critters reared they ugly heads every few minutes.

Anyway, I'm bummed that I spent eight dollars on this, and I wish I wasn't a pussy and had gone to see that other movie by myself and gotten the jumbo popcorn. Oh well. Now I have something to do with Baby foulks besides work on our Australian accents and make fake news reports. ^___~ not that there's anything wrong with that!

His Dark Materials

2008-01-04T18:52:00.001-06:00

Lol I started reading The Golden Compass today. It is pretty cool especially with the armored bear warriors and the shape-shifting animal representations of the human soul. ^___^

Hehehe

In other news, I feel like I been tellin the same jokes over and over milkin em for all they worth. I always feel like a cheat when I make the same comment about something ridiculous. Oh well, I'm not gonna stop. Just don't bring it up if I start telling you a story you've heard before because I will get embarrassed. I hate feeling embarrassed. It happens a lot -- what can you do.

To Those Whom I May Have Blinded...

2008-01-03T21:44:00.000-06:00

travelling south on I-55 between the hours of 6:12 PM and 7:49 PM. I'm really sorry that my brights were on, but I couldn't turn them off. I was trying to, and I'm sorry if you were distracted by my headlights turning on and off. You see, there's a small knob that controls the headlights, and the two settings this evening were off and real bright. So again, I'm sorry. I saw you flashing your lights at me, and I knew what was wrong. That's also why I was going so fast -- so that I wouldn't be behind you and blinding you.

Wah wah.

I'm back home finally!

I love you

2008-01-02T22:41:00.000-06:00

I really do.

Love love love I lurrrve you but I can't tell you!

~~Happy New Year~~

2008-01-01T21:14:00.000-06:00

2008 2008 2008 2008 2008 2008 2008 2008 how many more times do you think I should write that? I think we're good now. My parents are bein poopy right now and not letting me have any fun :(((

By fun I mean visiting my friends since I am already in Naperville or Gayperville as my un-PC sister likes to call it. -____- that means I don't approve.

There are a lot of things I don't approve of, such as (but not limited to): Simple Plan, Uggs, xenophobia, suicide bombers, the electoral college, corrupt government officials, Bollywood, people who are obsessed with material wealth and earthly possessions, lobbyists, advertising to children, Hannah Montana and the like, alt rock in general, the film industry, U.S. policy on radio & television, and Ann Coulters.

Now you know!

HiGhLiGhTzZ of 2007

2007-12-31T12:16:00.002-06:00

Wowow it's almost 2008 gurly! I dunno man--that shit flew by!

Here are highlights (because you know you care ^______~):

Locking myself out of car at gas station and sum delivery guy helped me retrieve my keys by fashioning a long wire and duct tape into a pole and fishing them out of the car through the narrow crack I had left the window open by
Graduating high school wit flyin colorz 8-)
Going to Canada with Hina where we got into all sorts of hijinkx such as she left me at the subway station by myself :'( just kidding it was my fault cos I forgot to hustle and didn't want to get squished in the doors becuz there were too many people. So many fun activities!!
Prom evening ;D with bebe Foulks at the carnival where he won/purchased from a carnie for $10 in addition to $10 he had already spent at a fishing game a giant inflatable Dora which we then tried to blow up with our mouths, a hand pump we got at Wal Mart and finally at a gas station where she almost blew away
Driving to Peoria with Nathan for Hina's MCAT when we fell asleep in Barnes and Noble then drove around for hourz searching for a department store with comfortable display beds to snooze in
Taking boring classes at RichRAAAAND community college after graduating a semester early
Omair Bhai's wedding -- lotsa fambly toime!
Going to Florida wit Mano and Czara and everyone over the summer
Playing lots of online games like KoL
Coming to U of I and making new frandz like Mikie Azzarello :D
Movie nights in 462!

aaand I'll tell you if anything kewl happens today b4 midnight! -_____-

Love,
Marium '07 <-- fyi that is referring to the year I wrote this not my graduating high school class

Time

2007-12-30T22:16:00.000-06:00

I want to throw up the past. I want to bring it back by puking up pills and wrong turns. Want to vomit up this year and the one before that and the one before that and the one before that ad infinitum. Need to purge myself of the present, send my body zooming through space and time back into the womb.

I am afraid I will never grow up, that I will be eighteen until the end of time.

I keep repeating the same mistakes.

Who knows who knows.

I will expound exponentially on this theme, dun even worry about it.

Existential Crisis Here I Come

2007-12-29T21:36:00.001-06:00

I guess it's natural to think of new beginnings and fresh starts with the advent of a new year, but I can only think of the end the end because

wut??

what the hell am I doing I dunno I'm losing I gotta get back to where I lay down in the grass next to the path and forgot to get up. I dunno where it's goin I dunno.

Oh well that's life yhou win some you lose some and I just lose and lose.

-________- jesus fuckin christ

I wanna see you. I have no idea where you are now.

Dreams

2007-12-29T20:45:00.000-06:00

I've had some strange dreams lately.

#1 Last night I dreamt I was a famous philosopher. I was climbing the outside of a building and I looked in and I saw four people but I was narrating it and said "about three people." Earlier I had found different kinds of scotch and whiskey lying about, and my parents thought I had been drinking it. Then I jumped out of a building but I didn't die. I was given the death penalty, and I was going to be killed by a giant wrecking ball but it kept missing so I remembered reading that I [Leonardo da Vinci] shot myself in the head and that's how I died.

But there was a really intricate mathematical formula carved under something, and it was really important. Then I figured it out.

Also in my dream I saw you and your friend had committed suicide and I was very sorry.

#2 The night before thaT, I dreamt that I was really out of it, and Ben Leddy was there and he was trying to sell me some campaign buttons, but I didn't understand. Then he said they only cost a nickel so I said fine. But Lisa the RA was there and she knew I was really high and said my money was dirty. I was really upset by this, so I was trying to look for you. You were wearing women's clothing, I think. I remember a glittery pink belt and that I was lol'ing as we were walking in a parking lot. But I couldn't find you even though I was calling out fo you.

Then you found me and you were with Kaly and everything was OK. I think.

LEaving tOmorwow

2007-12-28T23:37:00.000-06:00

Just thought I'd let you know.

Goodbye Tim Horton's and Desi's everywhere I look.

Bye cousins. Love you dudes.

Anyway, I'm gonna be in Naperville for two days by myself with my cat-crazy cousin. That should be interessant.

Hookah hookah

2007-12-27T21:47:00.001-06:00

We bought a hookah today from an Arabic store. It looks pretty cool 8)

Rofl I did this tonight at dinner;: Mr. Bean is the best!!

Parade of Gloom

2007-12-27T01:05:00.003-06:00

So I been carrying around a notebook writing down whatever stupid shit comes to mind which is mostly stuff about depoliticization and consumerism. Fuck that.

Toronto is nice. They recycle a lot here.

My eyes are tired and I thought I saw Josh Lee today. I don't think he cares as much as I do that we are not buds anymore. I talked to him online recently and I couldn't detect any bitterness in his O:-)'s and ;)'s. I dunno why it affected me so much I dunno why we are discussing this now I dunno who you are.

Whoooo are youuuu

Lol remember tha caterpillar the caterpillar sultan reclining on his tomb I mean throne of shrooms. Psilobycin is that it? Psylocybin, that's it! I'm thinking of a word that is like extant, but means reclining. What is it? Resplendent, that's it. I don't think it means reclining though. Resplendent upon his dais of morels. A motherfucker didn't even have to thesaurus.com that shit ;D

My mom is still mad at me from when she found cigarettes and the receipt for Mikie's birthday booze in my purse.

Whoops.

Forgot

2007-12-27T00:27:00.000-06:00

Can't believe it
won't I forgot to post
one day how's that for a poem
can't write can't talk
tawk tawk
squawkity squaaawk

hate everything.
the end

lololollll

Minesweeper and Solitaire and Pinball, oh my!

2007-12-25T19:44:00.001-06:00

In addition to online games, I also enjoy playing the games that come standard with Windows. Not Hearts, though. Or Freecell. Eff that. I'm talking about Minesweeper -- Intermediate, Solitaire -- Draw Three Timed, and Pinball -- space cadet style.

I first played Solitaire on our fuckin iMac back when we lived in Kansas. Draw One, Untimed, No Score. I rediscovered Solitaire in 2004, my sophomore year at IMSA, when I was desperate for new ways to procrastinate. I would have papers to write and problem sets to do, but instead I would listen to belle and sebastian and play card games by myself...with my roommate's fuckin blinding halogen lamp looming over my shoulder. But that's another story!

Then one day in winter I thought I would give Minesweeper a whirl. It was tough shit! I did not understand what the fuck I was supposed to be doing, but after about thirty minutes of clickin around, I cracked tha codE! It took me a while to solve my first beginning board, but soon (about two months) I got my first advanced solve!!! YAHOOOOO I have about ten screenshots saved on my old laptop of those sweet victories.

Over the summer when we were in Orlando, we would get back from Universal Studios and shit and I would plant myself in front of the computer I had brought with me (so I didn't die from listening to fucking Chris Brown and Fergie 24 hours a day), and play Pinball. I don't really know what a good score is, but I figured I had some. At least I had the high score on my machine. ^_____~

I also like playing real life pinball. Mikie says pinball is sleazy. I don't believe him.

Dear Blog,

2007-12-24T18:45:00.000-06:00

Content will be here soon.

Love,
Marium

Canada

2007-12-23T19:54:00.000-06:00

Hi dudes. In Canada now. Tomorrow will hopefully be fun-filled.

Also Seher Amina and Sarah are being annoying as FUUCK!!

Canada and Chicago

2007-12-22T20:06:00.000-06:00

So I guess in addition to Toronto we will be in Chicago for several days. After we get back from Canada. Thanks for the heads up mom. -_______-

I am in Naperville right now at my cousin's house. Mama said we are leaving tomorrow at 5 AM!! Lolol doubt it ;D

NEwayz I haven't used my bebe notebook yet. Haris did -- he drew Polyphemos, golden apples , Cerberus and the entrance to the underworld. Wonderful!

Nyaaanh

2007-12-22T13:19:00.000-06:00

Moms is nagging me, sayin I have to pack and shit. Whateva! I do what I wanT! ^______~

No, I have to go pack now cuz we're leaving in like an hour. Also since I have my driver's license I am going to have to drive :'( So hard!

Every time I get behind the wheel I am overcome by a very strong urge to sleep. My eyelids start to droop and my baby expedition starts to drift over the line. Oopsies! Oh I guess we will be taking the black car though, because my bike is still in my car lolooolol.

Doo de doo maybe I should start packing. We're going to be in Canada for four to five days. Daddy isn't coming :'( But don't worry we don't celebrate Xmas so it's not like we are just abandoning him. Eid was yesterday and we had a grand old time. Everyone went to a big Eid dinner except for me and HK cuz he was feeling sick so I stayed home and watched Stardust (again! T____T) with him.

We are bff, except just now he called me a fatty cuz I told him to get away from me and stop spying on what I am doing (i.e. blogging and playing games on Orisinal.com). ;)

Hits

2007-12-22T06:10:00.000-06:00

Site meter says I have 105 visits. I am pretty sure 90 of them are from me. I check this shit every few seconds. I don't know why.

The point is...........COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT NEED COMMENT!!Z

^_________^

I hope that's not too forward of me ;P

ps I am going to Canada today

Stardust

2007-12-21T16:21:00.000-06:00

This movie was ridiculous. It was worse than Crossover. I don't even know how to put my displeasure into words. It's like, it's like it's like ahmmm the story and the characters are bad enough, and then they throw more stupid shit out there like an effing melting pot of fantasy garbage and glowing stars and pirates and princes and

EFF.

THAT.

SHIT.

Sick and tired of these motherfuckin subpar movies!! Fuckin, Alvin and the Chipmunks >:o

lol rant ova ;D

Eid Mubarak

2007-12-21T12:38:00.000-06:00

Yes.

I have to go eat sum cereal now brb!

Wanted: One Purse NWT

2007-12-20T23:45:00.000-06:00

Help me out guys I needs a new purse because right now I just have the one and it's fugly.

These are the specifications it has to meet:

Large enough to hold items including but not limited to: label maker, Rubik's cube, wallet, small figurines, camera, and glasses
Shiny or cool-colored ^_______~
Tasteful
Fancy (see me for clarification of this term)
Must fit with the rest of my hobo wardrobe
Not a shopping bag
Less than $500

That is all.

Eid Is Almost Here!!

2007-12-20T23:26:00.000-06:00

I got a buncha baby notepads today so that I can jot down all my brill ideas.

That is all.

Also I did a lot of shopping with Hina today. I ended up buying the notepads and peppermint bark. I didn't even complain once, which was really hard for me, because I don't like shopping. Especially not department stores -- they are the worst. Going on the escalator to the upper level of like Bergner's and places like that makes me really antsy. Also, a lot of times I lose track of where my mom is because I don't want to look at blinds and sheets with her. Then I just wander around upstairs feeling the texture of clothing and look at household appliances. Yuck.

Even shopping for clothes. At first I'm like ooh this is fancy and ooh la la, how lucky! But soon everything starts to blend together and I don't care anymore. I am not a fashionista, not even a little bit.

Jamie Lynn Spears

2007-12-19T19:40:00.000-06:00

So remember earlier how I was saying I was confused about why people are so interested in celebrities? Well, I changed my mind. ;D

I signed into AIM about fifteen minutes ago and AIM Today showed its obnoxious and cluttered face. Usually I hate AIM Today, but yikes yikes yaaiiiikes!! I couldn't believe my eyes!!

~*~Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnanT!!~*~

I was planning on just playing a bit of Tetris and maybe organizing my bookmarks, but this was a gift from God. Ask and you shall receive (gurl)! ;D

How lucky lucky lucky!!

Well, I guess not lucky for Jamie Lynn. Or Casey Aldridge who may be facing statutory rape charges :-\ Meh meh meh

What is TMZ.com? Well, AIM Today linked me to that and I voted that Jamie Lynn Spears is to blame, not her parents or big sis Britney.

I hope I am not delighting in their misfortune.

Cougars

2007-12-19T13:57:00.000-06:00

I am watching 25 Hottest Hollywood Cougar Tales on E! It's pretty boring. Earlier I watched Britney's Most Shocking Year Ever on VH1. I don't understand why people care about this stuff. If you know, please drop me a line.

In other news, Eid Mubarak!

In other, other news, I am very tired I will update later with something good hopefully later I will update with something good.

What an Eventful Day!

2007-12-18T20:03:00.000-06:00

Today I drove Nana around town to take care of some errands. I also got a duplicate license so I dun have to be afraid the po-po will be waiting to ambush me and say hi do you have your license today :D and I will be like umm lol no? I lost it heh and they will be like unacceptable gurl you gots to go to tha SLAMMAHH!! And I will get locked up with mass murderers or sumthin yikes!

So that's not gonna happen PHEW!!~

After I drove Nana around, Seher came home sick so I had to take her to daddy's clinic so she would stop ralphing everywhere. She was making a BIG FUSS about getting a shot. I guess I wasn't making it better cuz I was bein naughty and making her nervous about it 8)

THEN (omg this day just gets better and better ^____^) me and moms went to HK's XMAS CONCERT. We got there a few minutes late cuz I was taking a nap hehe so there wasn't room in the gym (poor planning, imho!) and we had to stand in the li'l hallway and try to catch glimpses of his QT li'l face. :) Lol in most of the songs there were parts that the kids didn't know and it would kind of slur, and then when they got to the chorus everyone would pick up with much gusto.

Also, H and I bought sum kewl snowman sugar cookie dough that we gunna bake tonight yay ;) We also got teeny tiny Teddy Grahams but HKFC reared his savage head tonight and tried to eat all of them!! AAAAH!!

That was my day. Aren't you glad you know ^_______~ now!!

Day 2

2007-12-17T21:35:00.000-06:00

I'm so bored!! My friends are back in town but I dunno. Maybe I will call up bebe Foulks tomorrow and we can talk in broken Dutch/Spanish/Urdu. Also I should get to work on my portfolio. AAAAAAAAAH!!

Seher and Amina spend all of their time "compunicating" (communicating via Internet). It's driving me cwazy. Also they think it's really funny to say "SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT" to everyone, in response to everything. -_______-

Hm hm hm! I'm so bored bored bored. Maybe if I say that enough, it will not be true. ?____?

Doo de doo this blog is not working out like I wanted it to. I guess I have to give it time and nurture it with tears and praise. Stuff like dat.

I'm gonna try to update again soon with something exciting!!!!

My House

2007-12-16T17:32:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time I'm bored as hell and it's only the first day of break. Mimz is on Myspace and the Woo is gloonjin about. HK is playing with his action figures, Aba is taking a nap Moms is cooking Nano and Hina are watching a Pakistani game show and Nana is in the kitchen too. Dadi is in Pakistan.

That's the people who live in my house.

Also me. Also two cats, but they're not people.

Speaking of which, Elliott and Billoo got into several scuffles today. They are probably frustrated that they can't go outside cuz of the snow, and now they have to share the house. They don't get along at all. I used to dream that they were bff, and that they were snuggling and I found them and was very pleased. ^______^

I don't know, I feel like I've got stuff to say but I don't remember how to say it.

Get Ready

2007-12-15T05:19:00.001-06:00

There's gonna be sum really good posts coming up in the next few weeks!

Expect to see these issues addressed!:

life re-evaluation,
festival of tears,
movie reviews,
daily FREAKOUTS! ;D
lolworthy anecdotes courtesy of Kuweshi Clan,
ebonics,
meditation, medication, mendicancy
POST-ROCK LOL ^_______~
synthesthesia,
and the mysterious origins of Sispoombah/Habmoopsis.

FILING COMPLAINT AGAINST FINALS WEEK

2007-12-14T20:34:00.000-06:00

You know that feeling when you are really nervous about something it's like buttaflies in yo tummy. Well I have been feeling like that all day oh nooooo! Blah :( I have narrowed it down to these: caffeine overuse, fatigue, peptic ulcers, delirium tremens, and listening to Elliott Smith for three straight hours.

I remember looking at the clock at 4 AM, and then after waking up a bunch of times and bein all drooly it was still only 5:45. So I figured I might as well wake up. Then I just shat around until lunch when I had Froot Loops but I was too tired to eat them. Then at 5 something (I don't remember what I did from lunch until then) I went to dinner and it was very loud.

I just got done watching Harold and Maude. I dunno man. Not today! I can't handle this right now. My head is hurting a lot but I can't go to sleep. I'm trying not to think about it. Plus, I'm going home tomorrow. I could go home right now, but I am so tired.

My heart was beating very quickly today. What's the dealio?

Games are the Best

2007-12-13T10:56:00.001-06:00

I'm not gonna lie to you dudes, I love online games. So for your convenience and also because I am ass-tired and ridiculous, I am makin this (incomplete) list of games I have spent unreasonable amounts of time playing. It's mostly incomplete because I got dat anteretrograde amnesia goin on.

1) Neopets -- Oh, Neopets. I remember when I got dragged into this. In seventh and eighth grade, Me and Nate Foulks would go to the library every Wednesday and play hide-and-seek in the bookshelves and make up Pokemon comics starring popular favorites Rash and Freakachu. Then Nathan's like o hey I found dis ~*~kewl~*~ website let's check it out! By the end of that week I had twelve hundred million Neopoints (Neopian currency ^___^) in the bank. Still got em, actually. One of my Neopets was a green elephant character named Gishdurnit. This had something to do with Alaina "Cradle-Robbin" Ward, though I forget what.

I can't even begin to count the number of times I would get back home from a tough day of pre-algebra and transvestite gym teachers to unwind with a bottle of Boone's Farm and a round or twenty of Evil Fuzzles from Beyond the Stars.

Favorite Games in Neopia: Meerca Chase (like Snake, but executed with hamster character), Extreme Potato Counter (seriously, potatoes would fly across the screen really fast and you had to count them), Petpet Rescue (like Frogger, but so cute!), Gadgads Game (like Tetris, but Gadgads would combine and form giant ones), and Hasee Bounce (jump on a see-saw and catch "Doughnutfruit," avoid the bogies and poo).

Love. That. Shit.

10/10

2) Helicopter Game -- I was all about Helicopter Game sophomore year. I would go to the Mac Lab with JLee and we would seriously spend hours not doing Kadel papers or reading for Casey. Josh would play Tetris a lot. Our friendship eventually dissolved because I wanted to leave the white, impersonal confines of the computer lab, while he was totally content with staying there all day, updating his Xanga and chatting up whomever passed by.

This is how you play: You click, and hold down the button to rise, and release to descend. You have to dodge obstacles. The only problem is that sometimes there is not enough room for your chubster helicopter to squeeze through. Also, gameplay slows down a lot at times (probably when the server is overloaded with people itching to get they roflcopter on!). There is a Facebook application called Jetman which is a lot better than this shitty addictinggames version

3/10

3) Tetris -- When we had our first computer, we had this game called Super Tetris which I would play when Dinopark Tycoon and Odell Down Under got to be too much for me. But anyway, the combination of a genetic predisposition to Tetris addiction and mind-blowing dexterity produced a TOXIC SYNERGY that placed me at high risk for Tetris problems later in life. So I guess it only makes sense that when I found a Facebook application about Tetris, I added that shit before you could say Alexey Pajitnov and kickstarted a long struggle with colored blocks, spatial reasoning, and twitchy fingers syndrome!

It's like, it's like I get into this kind of trance and I can't do anything else. It's probably my soul leaving my body to float into a realm that consists entirely of squares. Either that or the energy drinks I IMBIBE (a-thank you FreeRice.com) around 10 PM make me batshit crazy. I can just play for hours. Seriously.

My life is the best.

11/10

4) FreeRice.com -- I'm crazy for this -- play word games AND give to the needy at the same time?? Best idea ever! I've gotten to level 45, but can't get any farther (further). So far I have amassed 53,230 grains of rice (I record how many grains I donate after every session ^_____~) That's a year's harvest, more or less!

So I don't know if you know this (so you probably don't), but I used to be a big spelling queen. Like, G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S for REALS! I was recognized allll over Clinton by friendly senior citizens ;D

~*~*~Poetic Interlude~*~*~

"Of all sad words of tongue and pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-John Greenleaf Whittier, Maud Muller

~*~*~End~*~*~

I have a big old Word document full of words that have tickled my fancy. Let me renumerate: filiform (threadlike), legerdemain (sleight of hand), doyen (senior member), et cetera et cetera ad infinitum ad nauseum ad lib ad hoc (btw what does ad hoc mean oh wait just kidding, Wikipedia says it means "for this purpose") adderall wahaaat?)

9/10

5) iSketch -- Basically pictionary online. Which is goody goody gumdrops for me so I can show off my superior drawing-with-mouse skills :D I played iSketch a lot when I was in Toronto for two weeks over the summer. Go figure.

8.6/10

6) Kingdom of Loathing -- Gawwwwdaaaamn! Gurl I played this game about every day this summer. THIS SUMMER, as in the summer before my freshman year of college. It's really neat, in a really dorky way. It's an MMORPG (MASS MULTIPLAYER ONLINE ROLE PLAYING GAME), but it makes fun of other really intense MMORPG's, like World of Warcraft.

My sister Amina claims that once in my sleep I shouted "I'M AN ACCORDION THIEF!! HI-YAH!" Doubt it. But anyway, the classes are Pastamancer, Sauceror, Seal Clubber :'( Turtle Tamer, Disco Bandit, and, of course, Accordion Thief. I highly recommend this game.

10/10

I also highly recommend never getting sucked into the dark and abject world of online games.

edit: i just reread bgebs' blog and this post is too similar to her post on online history for my liking. So just for the record. Um/?

FIRST POST MARKS BEGINNING OF NEW ERA

2007-12-08T02:52:00.000-06:00

YO lemme get back to you